“I don’t think you’ve been talking to the fellows who’ve been knocking on our door lately – and if you have, maybe you haven’t talked with them about what piqued their curiosity.” replied The Old Webmaster.

The Junior Warden tipped his head to one side and furrowed his brow. “Are you saying that they DO join because of that?”

“Ask them. When they get through talking about their own personal reasons like wanting to find meaning in their lives, a beloved grandfather or uncle who was a member, and all that, they’ll tell you – nearly to a man – that they were impressed with the names of SO many famous Freemasons. You know: in many cases it’s like a who’s who of leaders.”

“But we have so few LIVING examples….”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? There are LOTS of Masons making a very big difference in our communities today. Proportionally, Freemasonry is nowhere as big as it was compared to the overall male population a hundred or more years ago and due to having lost the 60s generation, we seem to have skipped a bunch of people who might otherwise have joined. Further, anyone who’s interested in national politics where all the attention seems to focus learns early on that they shouldn’t join ANYTHING that might cost them a single vote so they stay away from us and a lot of other worthwhile organizations. All that notwithstanding, I’ve watched so many new initiates kneel at our altar and then, there - or not long afterwards - they’re overwhelmed with the proud and distinguished history to which they are now joined. The feeling of brotherhood comes to them first – but once they realize the breadth and depth of that brotherhood over the centuries, they understand their connection to that continuum. It’s a powerful bond indeed.” The Old Webmaster looked over the top rim of his glasses.

“Now that you say it, that’s certainly true in my case….” He stared absently into space. “Can’t we put some of Freemasonry’s current members up there though?”

“Members are free to disclose whether or not they’re affiliated with us and many have quite publicly. In these days, though, where historical revisionism and near fanatical beliefs held by some persons can put families at risk, many chose to keep their affiliations – be it church, club, or Freemasonry – more private. I don’t think anyone is ever ashamed of that affiliation as a Mason but sometimes it has been used by our detractors to cause hardships. A classic example was when a certain blogger decided to ‘announce’ the church and location of a Minister/Mason hoping it would cause an embarrassment to the individual and perhaps even loss of his job. Ironically, when the blogger’s job was ‘outed’ a few months later by someone else, he was righteously indignant. It’s more than that, though, and there’s a whole history of hatred against Freemasonry. The Holocaust Museum in Washington has a whole section which explains these horrors but far less reported are incidents like airline hijackings where terrorists would look for Masonic rings or dues cards in wallets and then beat the men nearly to death. Servicemen going to certain countries are warned about disclosing their religion and, if applicable, Masonic membership.”

The Old Webmaster realized his thoughts were drifting. “Sorry. This is in some ways personal for me. Because of that potential danger, we let members decide whether or not they want to be identified as Masons. In reality, I think that most of them don’t make a ‘big deal’ out of their membership not because they’re embarrassed but because they simply don’t feel they measure up to the ‘important people’ of the past. Heck, a recently elected Governor didn’t feel that the Masons should be particularly proud of his achievements – which transcended partisan politics by a mile. He was encouraged into accepting the recognition. His election brought honor and recognition to himself but he had long been deeply involved as a Mason – and it was very much a part of his life. He didn’t want anyone – and particularly other Masons – to think he was bragging that he was more important somehow than they were. He was concerned that being identified as a living ‘famous Freemason’ might do that.”

“I think I see what you’re saying. But after all, getting elected Governor is no small feat – in even the smallest state!”

“That’s right! But it comes down to ‘meeting on the level’ that we hold so dear. None of us thinks that we’re more important than the other – and if we do, we hopefully see the error of our ways before it gets too far along.”

“OK. Well, that pretty well explains why we don’t have more ‘current names’ on that ‘famous’ list. Listen: do you want to go next door to the café and grab lunch? It would surely be better than this dark storage room that you use as your office….”

“I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like!” said The Old Webmaster, smiling broadly. He rose from the rickety wooden chair which squealed in appreciation. If only it knew where they were going….

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“I got here late this morning due to some car problems but I heard that the talk about lodge budgeting was pretty interesting. I don’t know if you remember me or not.” The two men exchanged names and a familiar handshake and they were – almost as if by magic – long time friends. “I heard some talk at lunch about this Adopt-A-Geezer program and wondered if you could tell me about it.”

“Absolutely, my Brother.” replied The Old Webmaster without hesitation. “Several years ago, our lodge’s new Treasurer attended a seminar on lodge finances. He came back to our lodge and decided to look carefully at where we’d been and where we were headed. Projecting anticipated future expenses, he realized that we’d need to be raising our dues – perhaps significantly - in the near future. Because we have a number of men who’ve been given an life membership as a result of their very conspicuous hard works over several decades, it was also clear that increases in the Grand Lodge per capita tax would result in an additional burden.”

“My Brother. I don’t mean to sound stupid but I’ve just moved to this jurisdiction and I guess I’m not really familiar enough yet with the terminology to appreciate the problem. We don’t have life memberships where I come from. We do have honorary members though. Are we talking about the same thing?”

“Maybe – but maybe not.” said The Old Webmaster. “The terms are sometimes different from one grand lodge to the next but if it’s an honor awarded by the lodge rather than something purchased by the individual member, then it’s probably pretty much the same concept. As you know, an individual lodge owes Grand Lodge an amount of money for each member on their rolls. Some may call it a poll tax, a head tax, or whatever. We call it a per capita tax. Usually, that’s part of the dues that’s collected from each member annually but in the case where dues have been remitted by the lodge – either because of an honorary or life membership or as a result of a financial hardship the member is facing which makes paying his dues impossible – there is still the amount to pay to Grand Lodge each year.”

“So how does this Adopt-A-Geezer program work then?”

“The Treasurer was at an officer’s meeting where he brought up the potential problem for discussion. One of the older Past Masters who was there chimed in that the lodge just couldn’t abandon those old geezers like himself for whom the honor had been granted – and he readily offered to pay for not only his own Grand Lodge dues but that of at least one other person. Our Treasurer – being a guy full of humor and mirth - quickly interjected that all they now needed was for someone to adopt the rest of the old geezers. Well, this struck a chord with everyone in the room and each offered to do so. They then paused: what if the older members of the lodge took umbrage at the term? ‘Ah, not to worry!’ said the Old Past Master. He’d was in contact with most of them anyway and would make it his duty to speak to every single one, telling them that this was a great idea which they, as the old geezers, should be pretty pleased about – and that it would give the lodge some fun as well.”

“And it was as simple as that?” The Mason was clearly taken by this idea.

“The Treasurer decided to make a big deal out of it. To do it humorously so that no one would feel obligated or would take offense. And it has worked awfully well for our lodge. Each year when dues bills are sent to the membership, the Treasurer includes a separate sheet which explains the program and asks for donations. If a member wishes, he’ll receive a cute ‘Adopt-A-Geezer’ certificate by return mail but nearly all of the fellows just double their dues payment and be done with it. It’s a good deal all around because it allows the lodge to make good on their honors and their financial commitments at the same time without injury to anyone.” The Old Webmaster smiled broadly. “And nobody takes umbrage at being referred to as a ‘old geezer’. You’ll want to make sure the lodge is agreeable to the concept, that you’ve got some who’ll immediately sign on, and that all of those who will benefit by it understand that they’re not being made fun of…. I think those things are VERY important.”

From the other side of the hall, the speaker was encouraging all to return to their seats for the rest of the program that afternoon. “Adopt A Geezer….. Who would have thought?” They both smiled and headed off to their seats: another lodge ‘best practice’ had been shared!

——

Thanks to RW George Macdougall, PSGW from Piscataquis Lodge #44, Milo, Maine for the inspiration for this blog posting.

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“What?” The Treasurer was over at the farthest filing cabinet trying to get some data together for his presentation of the upcoming budget. While a twenty five year financial history would be of little value in these times of rapidly escalating maintenance costs, he’d hoped to garner enough information to be able to show the steep ascent they were facing as the lodge struggled to ensure they remained fiscally secure for the future. “I’m hoping that you’ve got an audio card in that machine. Tell me you aren’t just talking to your computer instead of to yourself….” he said with a chuckle.

“It never ceases to amaze me how these few ‘fake Masons’ seem to think they’ve invented everything from charity to racial equality. They berate – both directly and indirectly – everything ever done by regular/recognized Freemasonry in order to boost their own self-perception while, very un-masonically, denigrating everyone else. The immaturity of their behavior is galling.”

The Treasurer stopped and left his pile of aged file folders to slump down into the overstuffed chair near the desk where The Old Webmaster sat. “For a guy who’s worked with youth groups his entire life, it really does surprise me to hear that you’re upset at immaturity. While I think our DeMolay boys are the greatest kids around and you know I’ve always encouraged the lodge’s financial support whenever they needed things, you’ll have to admit that their behavior is often far from mature. That broken window downstairs just last month….” The Treasurer didn’t want to put too fine a point on it.

“Well, we both know that the window was a result of some immature behavior but they are, after all, mostly twelve to fourteen year olds. They got physically rambunctious. That’s age. What I’m talking about are – ostensibly – adults in their twenties and thirties with a leader in his forties who think they’ve invented everything from the unified field theory to sliced bread – and who spend a considerable portion of their time trying to goad Freemasons online. It’s puerile and to many, including me, it’s pretty upsetting.”

“My Brother…” the Treasurer began slowly “…I’d be the LAST one to think that I could explain to anyone – and to you in particular – generational differences. You’re one of the very few among us who’s been ‘in the trenches’ watching such things develop for decades. However, if I may offer a bit of advice….”

“I’m all ears.” replied The Old Webmaster, leaning back further and stretching the very limits of the chair’s compliance.

“Last year we attended that Masonic Ambassador’s class and we got the handout on how the generations differ. I look at that sheet pretty regularly. It helps me better understand the kid in the grocery store who’s bagging my things and who apparently knows only two words: ‘no problem’. It helps me more appreciate my son-in-law when he does something which in my opinion is pretty foolish. It lets me communicate more intelligently with the new members of our lodge and give them the grounding which they never got in adolescence. You were at that meeting and you were the one who came back here to present it to our officer line. What’s happened? Have you forgotten it all?”

“No….” The Old Webmaster sighed deeply. “I keep hoping that these munchkins will grow up at some point – and I guess I’m frustrated that it’s not sooner rather than later – or never. And I guess I also resent their claims that they’ve invented the secret sauce because it demeans the many millions of good men who’ve gone before them.”

“Laugh it off, my friend. They’ve been at this for several years now and they’ve garnered less attention than a woodpecker banging on a tree trying to get insects in the middle of a Canadian winter. You see this stuff because you’re so close to that computer all the time but to the rest of the world, they’re a non-entity and will remain that way. In a couple of years, the leaders will grow tired of listening to themselves talk and they’ll find other ways to amuse themselves. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to do what we’ve done for the past three centuries – good works at improving ourselves and others - and we’ll continue on despite their niggling foolishness. They don’t have an exclusivity clause on ANYTHING and their whining should be transparent to even the most gullible. If it isn’t, all the better: they can take that person and have a great time together. MY only real concern is that they don’t get to the Jim Jones/David Koresh/Marshall Applewaite stage.”

The Old Webmaster stared. He’d seen that slavish, cult-like behavior in some of the followers of these various groups of ‘fake Masons’ and had been subjected to some very vitriolic comments when he’d taken a stand on behalf of regular/recognized Freemasonry. Could it be….??? The idea seemed too bizarre to even contemplate but there was that pack-like superiority attitude that was always present online. Would it ever spill over into something tragic? He’d been aware of one faction’s leader’s raging online rhetoric at the same time he was engaged in pleading long-distance phone calls with the officers of other jurisdictions and of national organizations begging for their assistance in his reinstatement as a Mason. There really were some strange dynamics in these groups but it was impossible to contemplate that grown men could follow someone to a precipice like that. Then again, from the time of Ben Franklin whose first words about Freemasonry condemned ‘fakers’ who pretended to be Masons and seduced others into thinking they were and who at other points in his lifetime spoke out against them as well….

The Treasurer interrupted his reverie. “A penny for your thoughts….” he said softly.

“I just wish I knew where it all ends….” The Old Webmaster replied mournfully.

“It ends with us ignoring the stupidity and getting back to reality. They don’t have exclusivity in the cause of righteousness and neither do we – although we’ll ALWAYS be a darn long step ahead. We do, however, have some immediate issues to discuss. I’ve been thinking: with rising gas prices, should we be looking at some kind of a special assessment so that we can provide some financial support to our DeMolay and Rainbow leaders? They’re getting hit hard, like ALL volunteers. What can we do?”

Both men turned their attention to the more pressing and relevant issue. A few minutes later, The Old Webmaster turned to look at his screen which had gone black due to inactivity. Fitting, he mused: the way all such aberrations in attempts to disrupt Freemasonry seem to end.

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“I noticed that your e-mail last night wasn’t received very well in some quarters.” The Old Webmaster said quietly while continuing to survey the many candies he shouldn’t be eating. The Master’s angst arose from a stern rebuke he’d received just a few hours ago from one of the ‘pillars of the lodge’, a long-serving member who’d been Master several times during ‘the lean years’ and had also served a term as District Deputy Grand Master.

The Master nearly erupted: “Damn it, I explained what I wanted to do at the last meeting. It’s really pretty simple. We’ve got a bunch of new guys coming in. They need stimulation. They’re clamoring to learn the ritual. I want them to know that they’ll be able to perform those parts once they learn them. Heck, Brother Adams does a great job but he’s been doing that same charge for umpteen years. He did it when I joined and he’s still doing it. It’s time we got some new blood in there. I explained this whole thing at the end of the last meeting. If he’d been in the room, he would have heard it.”

The Old Webmaster looked back at the candy display in order to allow the Master sufficient opportunity to breathe after this outburst. Clearly the man was shaken – a good sign it would seem. Had the Master been more callous – or furious - about the matter, The Old Webmaster’s planning might have been for naught.

“I really like these Milky Way Midnight bars. How about you?” The exasperation on the Master’s face showed clearly but he held himself in check. There always seemed to be a purpose for such questions. Was the man trying to be a Taoist or something? He could never quite figure it out.

“You want me to say that I’ve never had one, right? Or maybe you want me to say that I like the traditional one better….” The Old Webmaster turned to him and smiled slightly. The point had been made.

“You did know that Brother Adams had volunteered to help out in the kitchen because a Steward wasn’t feeling well, right? I just assumed that you had spoken with him about this well before you broached the idea in Lodge.”

“Oo…” The Master stopped short. He’d thought that Phil had just left to go outside for a cigarette as was the man’s custom towards the end of the meeting. It suddenly became clearer why he’d reacted so badly to the e-mail the Master had sent to the entire lodge membership last night explaining the way he’d be assigning ritual parts for the balance of his term.

The Old Webmaster resumed his scan of the candy array as he spoke. “Brother Adams has been doing that particular charge – as you said – for an awfully long time. When his wife died just before you joined, he threw himself into Masonry to help him deal with her loss. He went to meetings for miles around primarily to have supper just so that he wouldn’t have to eat alone. Did he want recognition for the good ritual he delivered when called to fill in at these meetings? You bet! It was, after Shirley died, the only thing in his life – the only time people talked to him it seemed. It was either going out to lodge and chatting with the guys or sitting alone in a cold, dank house. With a simple e-mail you’ve taken about the only thing he had away from him. I can see why he reacted as strongly as he did to your e-mail. He’s angry and hurt – and he probably doesn’t realize fully why it bothers him so much.”

There was a long pause. The Master picked up one of the Milky Way Midnight bars and stared at it intently.

The Old Webmaster watched – and then continued. “Look, Worshipful: I know what you want to accomplish. It’s certainly laudable and makes perfect sense for the Lodge. But Brother Adams has a lot to give us still even though his time of relevance is quickly passing. My opinion….” The Master stepped forward in order to look him squarely in the eye. It was quite rare that The Old Webmaster was so direct, nearly always encouraging members to think for themselves.

“My opinion…” he repeated “is that you should call him on your cell phone right now, apologize for perhaps causing a problem – and I’d say it in those terms because, sadly, his reaction has added to this – and tell him that you’d like to meet with him down at the Lodge Hall tonight to talk things over. Tell him you’re sorry and that you hope he’ll agree. He might hesitate at first and you might feel uncomfortable apologizing for something that you know in your heart is ultimately done for the best interests of the lodge but why not bring EVERYONE along on this and not leave someone shattered along the way? That’s my two cents at least.” A pause. “Remember, though: this is NOT some Past Master trying to run the Lodge or telling you what to do.”

The Old Webmaster had spoken sensibly and the last few words were unnecessary because the Master knew in retrospect that he’d erred badly. Staring at the candy bar he was still holding, it occurred to him that some day he might be in Brother Adams’ shoes. Having himself become the go-to guy for the Emblems lecture, he’d be crushed if one of his successors decided to replace him – and yet he’d done this to another Mason, by e-mail no less! Damn! He owed any Mason more than that!

“But how do I get the new Brothers motivated to do ritual if he’s going to continue doing a premiere piece that everyone longs to do?” It was a quandary the Master had pondered as he approached his term. Now he wished he’d talked with some of the Past Masters before sending that e-mail…. Maybe this could have all been prevented.

“It’s a thorny problem…” said The Old Webmaster “but I’m willing to bet that if you and he talk this through you’ll find common ground. In the process, you might want to think about something major to task him with – and you can also put him in charge of the mentoring program for the Brethren who want to work on this. We’ve talked about a new building for a long time now. Perhaps you’ve found the Fundraising Chairman? And I think I know Brother Adams well enough that when he sees the enthusiasm and eagerness of these newer members, he’ll relinquish his position and retire to the sidelines with fatherly pride. He’s up for his 50 year pin later this year, you know: ask him how he’d like to celebrate the occasion.”

“Don’t buy all of these!” the Master said, setting the candy bar back down. “Leave a couple for me. Right now, though, I need to step outside and make a phone call.”

The Old Webmaster looked longingly at the Milky Way Midnight bars as the Master rushed outside. He wondered how many he could sneak into the house….

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The Old Webmaster turned from his work and shook his head slowly, ruefully. “I have seen that website – or another just like it. I’m always surprised that people are gullible enough to think that by reading something they’re somehow going to feel filled with some kind of enlightenment. I certainly wouldn’t diminish the power of a well-crafted book to change one’s ideas or thinking but reading a some paragraphs from an inkjet printer and then thinking that you’ve somehow become a member of an initiatic society or you’ve now received the secrets of Freemasonry…. It’s a stretch for me as well.”

“Is there anything we can do about this sort of thing? It is, after all, a scam. We both know it. It seems a shame that somebody will spend their hard-earned cash to join a group like that. This one I saw said you could initiate your wife and your kids too. Make an infant child a Freemason apparently, according to them. It’s crazy!”

The Old Webmaster nodded yet again. “In the case of the one I saw, it’d be hard to prove much of anything wrong from a legal perspective, I think. It’s not unlike websites selling stars or property on Mars. One person, hiding behind a post office box, told the buyer what they’d get – a ceremony of some kind and the right to set up their own so-called ‘lodges’ – so even if the money is traveling by US Mail, there’s likely no postal fraud statute involved since they will get what was promised. Of course, if they ever wanted to visit a regular/recognized Masonic lodge, they’d be turned away quite promptly but that might not convince them that they weren’t in the right and the people at the lodge were just a bunch of jerks. It’s sad….” The Old Webmaster began staring off into space thinking about the ramifications.

“You know, after seeing this stuff on the web, I think our lodge – and every other lodge in our jurisdiction – should be made aware of such things. Sooner or later one of these people is going to show up on our doorstep. We need to have someone who’s knowledgeable and compassionate break the news to them that they’ve just wasted their money – and that they aren’t really a part of what they think they’ve joined.” Both men could envision the embarrassment a person might feel in such a situation.

The Old Webmaster smiled: “I’m going to be at a meeting with the Deputy Grand Master next week. OK if I tell him of your suggestion and offer you to be the trainer?” The answer was known before the question was posed.

“If you think it makes sense, then I’d sure be willing to do it – and I don’t mind travelling around to talk to the fellas at their own lodge if they wanted me to. Besides, it would give Louise a little more time without me!” The Past Master smiled broadly. This was Freemasonry: feeling wanted and having value!

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“I heard some mention of that the other day” replied The Old Webmaster “but I didn’t hear any of the details.”

“I’m not really sure but from what I’d heard, it would be limited to guys under 35 and they’d be doing things that younger guys want to do.”

“So what DO ‘younger guys’ want to do?” The question was asked easily and was not out of character for the man who was always happy to chat with Masons young and old.

“Well, I’d like to be able to go out maybe once a week to a sports bar with the lodge’s members. I think it’d be great if we could go to some sports event every Saturday and maybe go out to someplace where we could check out the action on Friday and Saturday nights. Heck, there are LOTS of things we could do together.” The Junior Steward was obviously smitten with this idea.

“I guess I’m confused.” said The Old Webmaster slowly. “I thought those were the types of things that one did with their friends.”

“Well, the guys in this lodge WOULD be my friends. Don’t get me wrong: I really like the Brothers here and a couple of the oldest members have been just like a Grandfather to me. It’s been just great. But I’m thinking that this could be so much better.”

“So having a couple of grandfathers isn’t as important as partying on the weekend, huh?” The Old Webmaster had a wry smile on his face. “And I was also wondering what the wives of some of your new lodge members would think of their partying with you every weekend.”

“Well, that wasn’t what I meant. If they didn’t want to go….” The Junior Steward knew that The Old Webmaster had a way of finding flaws in an idea which others hadn’t seen. He wasn’t going to let that happen here. “And besides,” he continued “the married guys could just attend the monthly meeting and let it go at that.”

“Oh. So they would be kind of a second class of members. There’d be the ones who wanted to do all sorts of ‘manly’ things while those who were stupid enough to get married would get left behind. And I presume there’d be some age limit to membership, right?”

“Well, yes. 40 was discussed but 35 is going to be the limit I think. At that point, guys would have other interests.” The subject had shifted but the young man wasn’t quite sure how much ground he’d lost so far.

The Old Webmaster nodded. “Interesting. Sounds to me a lot like the concept involved with the Jaycees – the Junior Chamber of Commerce younger folks. They’ve got an 18-41 age limit. For an organization focused on the community, it might not be so terrible to leave when you reach that magical age but in Freemasonry where so much of our membership experience involves our own personal growth and the bonds of friendship made over nights together at lodge events, it seems pretty odd we’d want to toss a felow out and force him to affiliate with another lodge with men he may not have even met before. Particularly at a time in his life when stability and long-term friendships might be pretty crucial…. I suspect a large group might just leave Masonry at that point but no one really knows…. I guess I’m having problems seeing the up-side of this.”

“You know, there are a lot of young guys who’d be much more attracted to the organization if they were joining a group with people of their own age….”

The Old Webmaster looked at him and smiled gently. “So the idea here would be to pretend that Freemasonry doesn’t have old guys like me around and to encourage new members to think they’re special through segregation?”

“Well, no…. We’re not segregating in that we’re a Masonic lodge too and….”

Uncharacteristically, The Old Webmaster interrupted – but with his gentle demeanor, it was hard to take umbrage in any way. “You still haven’t explained how a bunch of young, single guys are going to be in complete synchronicity with a bunch of married guys in various stages of their life, including young families. What really concerns me though is that a man might spend 20 years with a lodge like this, become a Past Master and be well-loved and respected, and then get kicked out because they’d hit a magical calendar date in their life – or do we make exceptions at that point so it’s the ‘young Masons and the ones who used to be Lodge’?…..”

At that moment, the Junior Warden appeared. “If I’m not interrupting anything too very important, I could use some help down in the kitchen. Brother Steward: your duties call….” All of them smiled broadly. Sometimes work did get in the way of these great conversations!

“I’ll lend a hand as well.” said The Old Webmaster. “I think one of the best parts of Freemasonry is that us old guys get to hang out with you youngsters….” He winked at the Junior Steward and smiled broadly.

The Junior Warden gave a half-smile as well, not quite understanding what was being said. He just shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, and headed off. Apparently he’d missed something pretty interesting….

As the evening progressed, The Old Webmaster noted that the Junior Steward was spending a LOT of time talking with the most senior members of the lodge, something that hadn’t happened much before. As they were leaving the building for the evening, the young man patted The Old Webmaster on the arm: “Funny how you can sometimes miss the obvious, isn’t it?” he said. The Old Webmaster nodded sagely. “Maybe that’s why you should keep us old guys around.” he replied – and patted his Masonic Brother on the back in return, his face beaming in a huge grin.

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Having read all three of Chris’ prior books and being a pretty active conspiracy scoffer, I’d girded my loins for a disappointment this time around. Just more Freemason conspiracy (Solomon’s Builders) and more Templars conspiracy (Templar Code for Dummies) with a little lettuce thrown around on the edges to make it look fancy and different….

HARDLY!

Whether it’s organized crime, the Illuminati, or world domination, Chris and Alice take you down the dark alleys of mystery and fear but always keep a flashlight focused carefully so you won’t get grabbed by the hobgoblins. Trying to put a coherent order to the ‘weird things of the world’ would be a daunting task for anyone but the authors start with a very plausible premise: it all began with the French Revolution. They frequently reach back to that touchstone as the net grows wider in explaining the bizarre and while you might not accept it at face value, you soon realize that the premise has LOTS of merit.

In the basic areas of foolishness (such as the Hoaglund ‘Face on Mars’), the authors are wryly dismissive but in the more controversial or confusing things there’s a calm and deliberate presentation of facts and a laying out ‘common knowledge’ interspersed with ‘the rest of the story’ (i.e., the FACTS!). In few cases they do pull out the ‘tin-foil hat’ award but otherwise it’s basic exposition with an admission that there’s no answer when, in fact, there is none. There’s no doe-like innocence to be found but neither is there overt criticism. It’s reminiscent of Sergeant Friday: “Just the facts, ma’am.” – but this time with some humor added.

It’s clear that Chris and Alice have read from the major skeptics before beginning and they regularly refer to specific (and qualified) debunkers. Apropos of the subject, the book cries out for an annotated bibliography. Sadly, such is not the style of the ‘Dummies’ series. I’d happily pay extra for that because it would save me wearing out the binding looking back for things all the time. Sadly too, there aren’t NEARLY enough Rich Tarrant cartoons here to satisfy: when you’re knee deep in alien space monsters or gangland retribution, a little graphic levity can help!

Because the author’s three prior works were so steeped in Masonic ‘stuff’, I was expecting to simply skip over the Masonic section as ‘old hat’. What a mistake that would have been. Somehow this book has managed to circumvent the ‘old wine – new bottle’ conundrum and has included a fresh and relevant approach coinciding with the book’s title. They’ve got what essentially could be called the ‘elevator pitch’ on Freemasonry with explanations that are simple and understandable - and something any Mason could use when asked that question “What is Freemasonry?” that brings even long-term members to the point of stuttering.

I did have a couple of small quibbles. One was the mention of a meeting between two 18^th century conspiracists, John Robison and Abbe Barruel. My prior reading indicated that this had never occurred but they simply acknowledged (belatedly) the work done by the other (and, in fact, Barruel was quite dismissive of Robison’s work. Vernon Stauffer’s seminal work on this topic provides a quote in support of this. It’s a bit of minutiae we can arm wrestle over elsewhere and it does not in any way lessen the assumptions, conclusions or assessments which cover FAR more ground more accurately and intelligently than any other work on this topic. The other quibble involved the loss by the town of Roswell, New Mexico of some 5,000 souls between the start of a paragraph and the end. Then again, who knows: maybe it was a conspiracy!

Like the Hodapp family predecessors, this is a book with an easy to read style and it’s one you can consume in small pieces at your leisure. I’ll bet, though, that like me you’ll devour it within a few pleasant hours and set it down having learned a bunch of things about events and organizations you thought you had thoroughly understood prior to that. If you’re looking to debunk things like the origins of the Rosicrucians or your friend who’s convinced he has all the facts about 9/11, then this is the book for you. Of course, if you think that David Icke is the true messiah or that Coast to Coast is more factual than National Public Radio, you won’t enjoy it AT ALL! Move along: there’s nothing to see here….

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The Old Webmaster turned to see a smile on the face of the Master. “When I read about this organization on some blogs, I get that very distinct impression.” He chuckled.

“Apparently no one has told the guys in our lodge or coming to join our lodge that it is, Worshipful.” The Old Webmaster responded with equal jocularity enhanced by a great evening of friendship and fellowship. “I really do believe that in life you find what you look for. If you want to see darkness and doom at every turn, then by golly you’re going to find it. If, on the other hand, you recognize that some things in our organization need tweaking – or outright repair – but that overall we’ve done pretty well for the past three hundred years, then I think you’re going to have a positive situation just as we have here.”

“You’ve been consistently responsible for setting that tone, my friend. I think the lodge owes you a real debt of gratitude for keeping them looking forward instead of back.”

“It must be the late hour that’s affected your thinking!” replied The Old Webmaster with a broad grin. “You hadn’t yet joined when I first came to town, but there were several in this lodge who were much more happy to moan and gripe than to move forward. There were a couple of the oldest members who took the approach that any change was heresy and there were a couple of the youngest guys who were convinced that the lodge was going to hell in a hand basket and weren’t reticent about proclaiming that to the rooftops – while never lifting a finger to make change, except to do things sure to antagonize others.”

“I…. I never realized that our lodge was so divided.” The Master had stopped still and was staring as The Old Webmaster set his laptop computer into its case. “How did the turnaround happen? When I petitioned, everyone seemed to be pretty much on the same page….”

The Old Webmaster looked past him into the shadows of the room as if seeing reminders of a past long forgotten. “It was a time of frank discussions, I guess. I told a couple of the old fellows that I’d wanted to join a lodge that had a future and it seemed to me that this one had. Somehow that seemed to resonate with all but one member. He went off in a huff but fortunately he came back barely a year later when others told him of the things that were starting to happen. If I told you who it was, you’d be shocked since he’s now one of the most active members in the lodge. I also told a couple of the loudest mouthed guys that frankly I thought their behavior was boorish; that I’d never seen such things in Freemasonry before, and that if I was Master - which I told them I was looking forward to doing - they would find this a very unwelcome place with such attitudes. In short, if they didn’t like this so much, to not let the door hit them in the butt on the way out! It was, in the vernacular, some ‘tough love’.”

The Master continued to stare. Since his arrival, harmony had been a watchword for all their doings and he’d never heard The Old Webmaster use a descriptor like that before. “So I’m confused here…. You’re a person who never seems to interfere. As a new member, what authority….”

“MORAL authority!” The Old Webmaster replied without waiting for the sentence to finish. “Freemasonry has been around a long time and I’d enjoyed my time in it up to that point. I wasn’t about to let a bunch of nay-sayers take that away from me and I wasn’t about to buy into their negativism, regardless of the origin. Apparently there were quite a few members of the lodge who’d been waiting for ‘the right moment’ to step up and move things forward. I guess my big mouth was what touched it off.” He chuckled as he wrapped cords, stuffing them into various pockets of his case.

“Quite a chance you took though, don’t you think? You could have irrevocably split the lodge….”

The Old Webmaster just smiled. “No, I wasn’t doing anything but the RIGHT thing. I wasn’t telling anyone HOW to run the lodge or what we needed to be doing for meetings, activities, or whatever. I was saying, simply, to cut out all the darn negativity and spend their effort on positive things. Nothing radical about it at all. Beyond that, I had a reservoir of experience behind me. One member even called the Master of my home lodge to ‘check me out’. Apparently he was left thinking I was the new Messiah! I thought it was pretty comical. Unlike many of those who flap their jaws – or keyboards – about their many solutions to what they perceive as wrong about Freemasonry, I simply encouraged people to either lead, follow or get out of the way. Pretty simple military metaphor. The older guys understood it immediately and nearly all of the younger guys caught on right off. Negativism begets negativism but conversely, when you’re positive and forward-looking, you’re going to find potential and opportunity. I told the younger ones who were flapping their jaws the hardest that, like the Mark Twain story about his father’s intelligence, they’d soon discover what was good and right about the older ones and that they should take advantage of the opportunity they had here to share generational differences which was nowhere else available to them. I told the older guys that these were the young pups who were going to help them in their dotage and they’d better pay heed to making friendships now or they’d be alone and lonely at the end. Almost everybody seemed to get it.”

His voice dropped appreciably and the darkness of the night seemed to fill the room. “I started a forest fire it seems. One of significant proportions. Such fires, though, don’t destroy the ecosystem as you well know. Instead they clear away the dead brush and allow so many other things to grow and flourish. You’ve spent time as a hunter and a Guide; you understand the process….”

“It sounds to me as if you judiciously used a bushwhacker rather than starting a forest fire….” said the Master, now closing his briefcase and making ready to leave.

“Well, whichever: but we all started keeping our eyes on the prize from that point forward. When I’m long gone, I hope you’ll make sure that continues.” The Old Webmaster reached out and patted the Master on the back. “That was one heck of an evening tonight. THANK YOU for all your work for Freemasonry.”

“And thank YOU, my Brother, for everything you do as well.”

With smiles and a feeling of friendship, they descended to the lower floor, locked the door, and climbed into their respective vehicles to head home. Not another word was spoken between them that evening. None were necessary.

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Thanks to Amazon and the friendly UPS driver (three hours later than his usual delivery time), the weekend is complete! Through the first 70 pages and, for sure, anybody who’s ‘into’ conspiracy stuff will want to read this. A full report in a few days….

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“I know what you mean, Bill. I’ve been reading that blog too ever since you told me about it. If you gave that guy gold bars, he’d complain that they were too heavy. Who does he think he is, anyway?”

“He ought to be tossed out of Masonry, in my opinion. Just the other day he was blathering about how a certain Grand Lodge was doing their advertising. Of course, he didn’t have a clue as to their membership figures or how successful that advertising had been. I guess their way of doing things just didn’t appeal to him so he decided that it wouldn’t appeal to anyone. In fact, I’ve got a friend in that state who tells me that their campaigns are going ‘great guns’! And, like a lot of people, that blogger-guy will disparage their efforts but he doesn’t have any positive suggestions for doing it better. Just a bunch of negativism.” said a third member at the table.

“I think he just loves to write provocative things so that people will come to his website and he’ll get a few cents from the traffic going there. He’s making money on our prurient interests. Sad. He’s probably hoping to sell some useless herbal medicine too. I’ll bet there’s a great profit on that stuff.”

“So what does The Old Webmaster think about it?” said the Lodge’s Master, facing him with a grin from ear to ear. It wasn’t just the roast beef sandwich swathed in Russian dressing that he’d paused before devouring: he had actually used the sobriquet that so many in the lodge employed, but never to the Brother’s face. It was a term of true endearment and the Master was confident it would never be misinterpreted.

“I’m astonished that I can sit at a table with this many Masons and most of you know about blogs!” The Old Webmaster smiled broadly – and stopped to see if anyone had anything to add. They waited for his response.

“Well, here’s my take on it. Loneliness breeds all sorts of problems. Based on what he’s written to date, he sounds like a guy who joined Masonry thinking how much we’d all benefit by having him as a member. Needless to say, those who become members and immediately want to tell everyone how things ought to be run become unwelcome quite quickly – and they’re not at all understanding of the reasons for that. There have been others: Eliphas Levy, Gabriel Jogand-Pagès, better known as Léo Taxil, and more. I’ve never understood how someone who’s never been a member can, within the space of weeks or months become such an expert, particularly on one of the world’s oldest organizations. ” Heads nodded in agreement.

“His divorce not long afterwards played out online with his bizarre actions. He now apparently wants to prove his worth and perhaps even validate his manhood by regularly showcasing Masons as a bunch of jackasses at best. If only Freemasonry had listened to him, he could have straightened things out. The supreme irony, to me at least, is that he doesn’t have the courage of his convictions to quit the organization. He just seems to want to prove that he was right and that those who wouldn’t listen – and all the other Masons who haven’t paid him due deference – were wrong. Although most of those who are very active in online Freemasonry know perfectly well who he is, he likes to hide behind a pseudonym. Frankly, I see him as a pitifully lonely soul, spiritually empty – grasping for attention in the only way he has managed to find.” The Old Webmaster shook his head: slowly, sadly.

Every man stopped. Sipping stopped. Chewing stopped. Drumming fingers stopped. Every man simply stopped what he was doing to turn and listen. The Old Webmaster was speaking deliberately but without any malice whatsoever. No one at the table, however, had ever heard him speak so forcefully about an individual’s deficiencies before. Clearly, he’d thought this all through more than once. Even those who were not following the blog under discussion realized the weight of this indictment.

But the Old Webmaster said nothing more. The silence at the table became palpable. Finally the Master broke the uneasy calm. “So you think we should just ignore the guy and not respond at all? Haven’t you been the one who always preached never letting a lie stand?”

“There are exceptions to every rule.” the Old Webmaster replied in a voice that was almost inaudible in the cavernous restaurant. “Beyond that, though, the argument is what he dearly wants. I’m sure that you’ve heard the old expression about never getting into a urination contest with a skunk, right?”

Nervous smiles broke out all around. There were nods of agreement. It was clear: arguing with an individual like that would be a waste of time and energy AND it would give him exactly what he so desperately craved: attention.

“Can you get me a sandwich like his – to go?” asked The Old Webmaster as their waitress passed by, now in a seemingly different mood entirely. The doom and gloom had been lifted in the blink of an eye. Every man there enjoyed Freemasonry to the fullest. They also knew the good they were doing in both their own lives and in that of the community. It was time to cut out cursing the darkness and get back to lighting candles!

The Master broke into a broad grin. “And I was just about to make a comment to the rest of the Brethren about you being a good example for not acting impulsively….” Some smiles turned to outright laughter.

“As you know, Worshipful, I try to concentrate on the important things in life.” The Old Webmaster paused and then gazed at each of the men in turn, letting the impact of his words sink in. Then he turned back towards the Master. “Those fries smell REALLY good – and you owe me some for that crack you made about “Old”…..” He deftly reached across the table to the Master’s plate and snatched several fries, quickly moving them into his mouth. Smiles, knowing nods, and laughter continued. The Master moved his plate so that more could be ’stolen’ if desired.

A waitress standing at the other end of the room leaned against the wall to watch these men who were clearly enjoying each other’s company, far more than other customers. She too found herself smiling. Were they all related somehow? They seemed to talk and share just like brothers. It was so nice…. If only all of her male customers were such gentlemen, she mused.

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The Old Webmaster gave him a look of mock scorn. “Is my beard REALLY that grey?” he asked.

“Well, you know what I mean. And it’s true. Most people over 30 don’t have a clue about these things. You’re really a trend-setter.”

“Perhaps I’m easily amused. I follow lots of different types of blogs and find much of interest there. Then again, I’m a ‘news junkie’ so blogs are a great way of getting a bit of additional information. While my parents often commented that I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle – a reference your generation probably doesn’t understand- I’ve always found great enjoyment in reading. Now having topical information delivered to my desktop, it’s easy to become caught in the tsunami of increasingly interconnected facts.”

“You must really lionize the Masonic blogs then.” said the young man.

“Actually I find them more depressing than anything almost anything else I read online – and for a multitude of reasons. So many of them are begun with great fanfare and then are just as quickly abandoned. For personal endeavors like a blog, it’s inevitable that some will move on to other things or that life may intervene but using a blog as an alternative to actually doing things in real life is what I find so very disconcerting.”

“Well, it’s a way of connecting…” the young man interjected, hoping to add to the discussion.

“I know that a lot of people these days think so – but surely you don’t…?” The question hung in the air as the new Mason actually thought through the question.

“I guess…” he began hesitatingly “…. I guess I do. I post comments to some of the blogs I read and other people respond to them sometimes. That’s connecting…. Sorta….” He stopped. The Old Webmaster knew his way around online as well as any 14 year old and wasn’t easily dazzled.

“Honestly, that’s no different that leaving book reviews on Amazon is it? Now since you mentioned how old I was, I should tell you that I was around when people first started in messaging. We had these big rocks that we’d chisel and then toss from one person to….”

The young man nearly doubled over in laughter. The Old Webmaster nodded, sagely and with a huge smile.

“But seriously: when the first Masons came online, we’d talk about ‘being Masons’ but soon we realized that there was nothing of substance to just talking. It was in the DOING that we found our calling. It wasn’t long before guys who hadn’t attended their lodge for years were taking officer positions and moving towards being Master. I still see that with some blogs and Masonic chat rooms today – but with others, it’s as if they’re stuck in a time warp. They can’t seem to leave their house yet they think that they’re doing something really meaningful.”

“But if they enjoy it….” The young Mason had seen the process too. Fellows who’d been hospitalized or had new families stopped blogging while others just seemed to drag on, becoming more and more jaundiced each day. Their tone was increasingly shrill and their postings were perpetually negative. Nothing ever seemed to please them – except, perhaps, enjoying the role of ’spoiler’. It was, he had to admit, hardly a Masonic virtue.

The Old Webmaster nodded his head and said softly. “I suspect some of them enjoy it because they have no other life. That’s the tragedy of the whole thing. The whole Masonic world is out there waiting for their involvement but they’d rather curse the darkness than light a candle.”

The two men stared at each other. The Old Webmaster’s voice became even softer. “I fear that a few of the most vocal of those who blog about Freemasonry are trying to fill their life with meaning by interacting with a computer screen. It’s not like the traditional country music: ‘my wife left me, my dog died, woe is me….’ It’s much more hateful and hate-filled even though they pat themselves on the back for their wonderful insight. Their negative attitude towards Freemasonry is cancerous and spreads to others similarly disaffected. Before too long, they’re all caterwauling together and feeding on each others’ negativity rather than getting off their butts and getting involved – like YOU did!”

The Old Webmaster burst into his characteristic broad grin. The young Mason just beamed. “I guess I did start down that path at first – but there’s SO much more. One of the things that you’ve taught me along the way is that there are both positive and negative ways to make change occur – and that the real reward is when one uses the positive route. I’d like to think that the couple of things I’ve been doing to help out the lodge since I’ve joined have been positive.”

“I can definitely assure you that they have been, my Brother. Let’s go upstairs and sit for a while. I’d like to talk to you about something the District Deputy asked me to consider the other evening. I think you might be the perfect person to take this project on.”

As they started up the stairs to the lodge’s storage room where comfortable chairs and a place to ‘kick back’ awaited, the young man thought about what his life might be like in another 30-40 years. He could almost see himself coaching and encouraging new Masons just as this gentle man was doing with him. He made a ball with his right fist and pulled his elbow towards his stomach: “YES” he screamed silently. The man who was walking in front of him was smiling broadly: he had known instinctively what this young man’s reaction would be from the day they’d first met!

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“Well, I think some are coming as a result of our monthly community barbeques while others….”

“No. That’s not what I mean. I was talking about the ‘woo-woo’ crowd. I got a call just last night from a fellow who wanted to tell me all about himself and how much he knew about Freemasonry. He described himself as a ‘ceremonial magician’ and he was pretty clear that he could be the solution to whatever ails us.” The Master slowly shook his head from side to side with antipathy. “I just don’t know where they get these whacked ideas that they know more about Masonry than Masons.”

The Old Webmaster chuckled. “You’ve got to wonder where they get that hubris - but if you dare to make any sort of negative comment about their capacity to solve all the problems of the world, we’re labeled as being out-of-touch with reality – or worse. It may be some sort of sociological problem brought about by the times in which we live.”

“WHOA! That’s pretty heavy.” replied the Master. “You’ve been waiting for me to bring this up?” He chuckled and smiled broadly.

“Well, no actually. I’m not so sure I’ve even got a partially formed theory for the situation. I’ve looked back into Masonic history at the supposed broad interest in what we now term ‘fringe Masonry’. The mid-to-late Victorian era in Britain seems to have few parallels. I’ve tried to consider the breakdown of the nuclear family and the current bizarre world political activities but they seem pretty unprecedented in history. As a result, I’m not really sure why ‘magicians’ and others who have convinced themselves they’ve got superior capabilities just waiting for a calling make the decision to offer their skills to us. The Grand Lodge of Massachusetts has some publicity material in which they ask, “Is greatness within you?” I’ve got no problems with someone responding ‘well, maybe’. It’s when they show up proclaiming that they know everything, that we’re doing it all wrong, and that they can fix it all – without ever having done ANYTHING of consequence in their life prior to that time…. Perhaps when it comes right down to it, they’re just lonely kids trying to impress others in the only way they’ve found to date. They start the hocus-pocus stuff, using a lot of words that most have never even heard, and they’re regarded as ‘mystical’. It would only make sense, then – since they’ve generally got no religious attachments – to try to hitch onto the star of our tradition and symbolism. Just lonely children – regardless of their physical age.” The Old Webmaster’s voice trailed off.

They sat together in silence for a time.

“But I do have one other thought on this.” The Old Webmaster leaned back in his chair which gave its characteristic metallic squeal of complaint. “I think the reason we’ve got a small handful of folks within the fraternity right now, making all sorts of noise on the Internet, is that we simply weren’t clearer about what Freemasonry REALLY is. If we’d been less interested in grabbing a warm body and more interested in learning that person’s motivations, we might have pointed them off in another direction.”

“So you think we should tell this fellow that this isn’t the place for him? I know a couple of our members might be upset that we’ve turned away a potential candidate.”

“I’ve always been of the belief that a leopard doesn’t change his spots. If he wants to pat himself on the head and emphasize how special he is, is this really the place for him? I don’t think we’ll be starting any officer positions with the title of ‘Magician’ frankly. And right off the bat, he’s going to chafe at the concept of equality that we all value so very much.”

The Master nodded affirmatively. “You’re right. I think I’m going to meet with him for a lunch later on this week. I’ll bring along my ‘Dummies for Freemasons’ book and see what his reaction is to my having that. He may decide that we’re far too pedestrian for him. I guess my only angst is that he might eventually make a good Mason despite the immaturity he’s shown so far.”

“Do you think we’re in the business of helping people grow up?” The Old Webmaster cocked his head to one side in askance. “Grow, certainly. Grow up? I’m not so sure….”

The Master slowly nodded in assent. “I think you’re right. The book may help him self-select – and it could well make him decide that he’s so much more spiritually or intellectually advanced that he’d be wasting his time with us. I’m not going to pre-judge, but if he comes to that conclusion I won’t be leaping across the table to dissuade him.”

“It’s not easy, Worshipful, but that’s why we pay you the big bucks!” The Old Webmaster grinned from ear and saw across the room a reflection of that grin. Who to recommend – and when to not offer to recommend was something many Masons grappled with – and both men knew it well.

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The Old Webmaster turned to see the speaker. Confirming what voice recognition had already hinted, he saw one of the older Past Masters of the Lodge ‘holding court’ with several new Masons. Scanning the small group, there were obvious looks of confusion all around. If this particular solution was seen as helpful and/or correct, they’d all likely do the same thing. The Old Webmaster sighed and moved closer.

“That’s what you fellows did: you wanted to find out more so you asked for a petition and joined, right?” the Past Master continued.
The voice was authoritative, borne of having spent a career as a soldier. However, sometimes the Brother’s desire to have others notice him seemed to cloud his judgment. It was a human frailty that so many men seemed to develop as they reached their senior years.

“And here’s our Lodge’s Webmaster…” he announced dramatically. “He’ll tell you that’s how it’s done. Why there are even petitions on the website now. Back in my day, a man had to ask another Mason for one in person.”

“Back in your day, my Brother, you had to ride a horse 10 miles through the snow, uphill both ways to do that too, didn’t you?” The broad grin was disarming and no one, even that Past Master, could have taken exception.

“Damn straight!” he replied promptly.

“But you know, despite the fact that we’ve got a petition available for download on the Website, I see what you did as being quite a bit different. What you did, in fact, was TELL that fellow to join. That’s quite a ways from letting him get one himself without encouragement.”

There were sideways glances amongst the ‘audience’. They were beginning to see that maybe….

“Well, but he’s sure not going to…. Nothing to worry about there.”

“Nevertheless. What if he did? Would you want to be the one to tell him that you’d just played him for a fool? And besides, there’s been a lot of talk in years past about us not guarding the West Gate properly.” The Old Webmaster paused, He peered over his glasses to look at the small circle of faces watching the Past Master attentively. “Well, present company excluded, of course.” The broad grin flashed again and the young man closest to him gently moved his elbow into The Old Webmaster’s arm with a matching grin. “Gee thanks!” the PM said mischievously.

“I’m always amazed when I’m online reading some message where a person – usually a pseudonym – will make some sarcastic comment about the Fraternity and then see a Mason say that the person should join so he would find out differently. Is that the kind of person we want to encourage to approach our portal? I don’t think these guys would agree, frankly….”

“Hmmmmm…. You know, you’re right – and Brothers, I may have pointed you down the wrong path. Here’s the deal: don’t EVER encourage anyone to join unless you’re 105% sure that he’s got ‘the right stuff’ to become a member. Taunting him to find out more by joining really isn’t the answer – and if I hadn’t been blindsided by this guy, I would have realized that too. We need more like you – and NONE like him! Now, let’s head on upstairs to the meeting, ok?”

The PM and his charges all turned and began to make their way towards the stairs. The Old Webmaster watched them chatting amiably as they crossed the room. Waiting for the younger men to go upstairs first, the Past Master turned around and silently mouthed the words ‘Thank you.’ across the room. The Old Webmaster gave him a smile and a ‘thumbs up’ in return.

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“Words change their meaning over time, don’t they?” The Old Webmaster asked as he straightened the picture of a Past Master on the wall. “It seems like we Masons have gotten so used to referring to ourselves as a fraternity that we never seem to think that the stature of being a ‘fraternity member’ isn’t quite the same as it was a hundred years ago. Then, the word was also more broadly defined as a group of people with similar interests as in ‘the medical fraternity’ but – like the word ‘temple’ which we also use based on an older connotation – that’s hardly ever the case any longer and is certainly not common amongst younger folks.”

“So how do I describe this…. group…. this ‘thing’…. the feelings I have that….” The young man stared. As it was for nearly everyone, joining Freemasonry had been a totally different experience in his life. It was something he thought he was prepared for but somehow, it ‘hit him’ differently and FAR more powerfully than he’d expected. He wanted to share the experience with everyone and was almost evangelical about explaining it to his friends.

“I think….” The Old Webmaster began slowly, stepping back from the picture to make sure it was aligned just so, “…that perhaps you might be trying a bit too hard. If you take the premise that not everyone understands the meaning of ‘fraternity’ as we use it, than might help you a bit. Perhaps ‘brotherhood’ could be used in an alternate sentence, for example. But then again, if someone rejects the idea of a bond made with others who share a similar purpose in life, then that person is simply not an appropriate candidate. This doesn’t mean that they can’t be your good friend but remember: not everyone – much to my surprise – likes lobster!”

The new Mason chuckled. It was true that some of his friends were pretty myopic. One had even found a bunch of websites telling about how Masons were Satanists, trying to ostensibly warn him away from the dangerous choice he’d made. Even now, that guy would regularly argue with him about the ‘religion of Freemasonry’ and when told that there was no such thing, simply went off on a tangent about the ‘higher degrees’ keeping it secret.

“Freemasonry is often a very intense, personal experience. Suddenly when you become a member you’ve got several million true brothers around the world – and you KNOW that they really are your Brothers. Even guys who were most active in college fraternities recognize that the bonds of Freemasonry transcend anything they’ve ever experienced. As a result of this, a lot of guys don’t mention their affiliation to anyone. I think the most common sense approach is to simply talk about what the lodge is doing – you know: our family activities, our scholarship fund, and so on – and how you enjoy the many different men you’ve met there. That seems to set the scene better – and also avoids what, to some, is a ‘loaded’ word.”

“That makes sense!” responded the young man.” I’m going to take that approach in the future. There are always news stories in the paper or on television about a fraternity having a blood drive or doing some other sort of community activity. They just use their name and don’t dwell on the ‘fraternity’ word. I think I’ll start doing the same.”

“Oh, and thanks for taking so long to straighten that picture…. Brother.” The young man’s use of the word ‘Brother’ came a bit hesitatingly. He had, after all, only been a Mason a very short time. The Old Webmaster knew instinctively that in short order, it would roll from his tongue but would always resonate with the full breadth and scope of its true meaning.

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