Masonic Musings from ME!

“I always enjoy these meetings. I feel like I’m growing as a person, learning new things about the world and about myself.” The lodge’s new Junior Steward had been standing just inside the door of the lodge after having arrived at the building early that evening to be sure everything was in order for the meal which would precede the meeting. He’d heard someone enter the building and was now facing a very familiar face.

“I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere….” replied The Old Webmaster as he set the case containing his laptop computer on the table nearby so he could devote his full attention to the speaker.

“When I’m here, the things we are planning all seem just great. There are activities designed for just us men, there are lots of events where we bring our families, and we’re always doing one type of community project or another. Last week I realized that I’d done ten different community projects since joining the lodge and the things we’ve done really do seem to make a difference.”

“I’m still hearing that ‘but’ though.” said The Old Webmaster with a smile but with eyes furrowed. “What’s missing?”

“I was reading a blog post last week which talked about the many service projects members of a particular lodge were doing. I was astonished. They were involved with Malaria control in Africa, climate predictions around the world, mind modeling and more. Our lodge does a LOT of things but nothing on this scale. I was darn impressed.”

Even as he was speaking, The Old Webmaster’s face broadened into a sardonic grin as he shook his head slowly from side to side negatively.

“Do you remember that sign on the wall up in the storage room?” he asked.

The sign he referred to was both a history and life lesson. Carved back in the mid-1800s, it had hung on the wall of the lodge’s storage room in both its current and predecessor buildings. It had pointed to the back corner of the building where there was only a small window leading to the fire escape. It read “This Way to the Egress”. At some point every new member of the lodge would see it and ask – and they’d be told the story. Circus pioneer and showman P. T. Barnum had a combination zoo, museum, theater and freak show in New York in the 1840s. It was wildly successful. At one point Barnum observed that people were lingering too long inside his building, keeping other paying customers from entering. His solution was to post signs which read “This Way to the Egress”. Not knowing that “Egress” was another word for “Exit”, people followed those signs to what they assumed was yet another fascinating exhibit…and ended up outside.

One of Barnum’s star performers was Charles S. Stratton, also known as ‘General Tom Thumb’, billed as the world’s smallest man. Bro. Stratton was a Mason. In the 1870s he supposedly gave the sign as a gift to another Mason although it was not known if the sign was an actual one from the Barnum building or simply a sort of remembrance. That Mason had moved to their area and gave the sign to the lodge during a 50^th Anniversary celebration just after the turn of the century. It was part of the culture and fabric of the lodge and had served as a very unique reminder that Masons should practice the tenets of logic and rhetoric as inculcated in the Fellowcraft Degree.

The Junior Steward, like all members of the lodge knew the story well. “Are you saying that I’ve been hoodwinked?” he asked quickly.

“I’m afraid so.” replied The Old Webmaster with his gentle voice. “When you’ve been surfing the web I suspect you’ve seen references to something known as BOINC, haven’t you?”

“Actually, I remember going up to your ‘office’ upstairs just a few weeks ago and seeing your interesting screen saver. You explained it to me then. I haven’t installed BOINC on my computer just yet but I will soon. Looking for intelligent life in space seems like an interesting way to use a computer when it’s not doing anything else. But….”

The Old Webmaster interrupted, “Not only that, you can also be involved with Malaria control in Africa, climate predictions around the world, mind modeling and more.” He watched the Junior Steward’s face express first confusion, then understanding and then consternation. “BOINC is, you see, a software program that lets your computer participate in distributed computing projects – and there are dozens of them. I do the SETI project and have for several years now but hundreds of thousands of others run projects involving blood matching, finding cures for major human diseases and many more.”

“So you mean to tell me that their boasts of doing great works of service amount to nothing more than letting a piece of software run in the background when their computer isn’t doing anything else? How long did it take them to set the darn thing up? Five minutes? How much time do they need to spend tending it? From what you’ve told me, none at all. Yet they have the chutzpah to claim….”

The Old Webmaster uncharacteristically interrupted yet again. “Do you remember just a couple of weeks ago at our Officer’s Meeting I talked about some pseudo-Masonic organizations using the internet to make themselves seem legitimate? Well, that blog post you saw was from one of them.”

The Junior Steward just stared. After that talk he THOUGHT he was being more discriminating, but he really was taken in with this one. “It’s amazing to me that people who want to be seen as credible would stoop to such childishness.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes upwards. Then he stared directly at The Old Webmaster, a broad smile coming to his face. “By the next meeting, I’m going to have invested the necessary five minutes and I’ll be doing all of those laudable things too. In the meantime, I’ve been doing some REAL service work: wait until you hear my report at the meeting tonight about our assisting the community food pantry. I’ve got six Brothers who’ve made major time and money commitments already. It’s a heck of a lot more than letting a computer program run in the background, believe me.”

“I’m looking forward to it – and I heard that the Treasurer may have a contact that can move this along even further.” The Junior Steward’s eyes widened. ” Well, I’m going upstairs now and start my computer so it can spend the evening working on a ‘great project’ while I’m enjoying the friendship and fellowship of traditional Freemasonry!” The Old Webmaster said and off he went. He could be heard chuckling as he trudged up the long stairway to the dimly lit storage room on the upper floor. He flipped on the old light and, staring into the shadows in the back of the room, could see that famous sign still there. At least P. T. Barnum gave the folks a good show for their money, he mused. They even got a good laugh when they realized how they’d been conned. It was honest playfullness, he thought as he smiled. But his smile soon faded as thoughts turned to those who used Freemasonry’s name, reputation and tradition for their own self-aggrandizement….

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