“When I suggested we go to lunch, I should have realized that you’d be eating something which I’d envy. Not a very Masonic behavior, is it?” The Lodge’s Master grinned from ear to ear while eyeing the plate of his friend and mentor. “But you know, that brings up something else.” His voice was now far more serious. “I was poking around on the Internet the other night and came across a message from somebody who was supposedly a Mason. He’d written “…I love Freemasonry… and that is why I like to poke it and prod it and goad it….” You’ve often joked that you live online. Tell me: is this feeling common amongst Masons online? I can’t imagine any of our lodge members thinking like this but maybe I’m totally out of touch. You know I’m not online as much as you or some others.”
The Old Webmaster took his time chewing on his sandwich – as well as the question. He looked at the younger man intensely. He’d seen the same post when it was originally made a month earlier and he’d been troubled as well. He began deliberately. “You know as well as I do that not everyone is judicious when they write things. Messages are often quickly ‘tossed out’ without much – or any – thought, not realizing that others will see them years later. Many are written trying to make a point based on a thought they’d just had – and they express themselves poorly. In some cases, though, I can only assume that the individual has no idea how what they write will sound to others. The anonymity of the internet allows the writing of things that would NEVER be written if someone were looking over their shoulder. I saw that same post – and frankly, it reminded me of a typical rationalization for spousal abuse: the egregious behavior was done out of love….”
The Master stopped in mid-bite. He thought the post was stupid but he’d not considered this further implication. “I was troubled by it, certainly, but I didn’t take it quite that seriously. Is it possible that you’ve read too much into it?”
“Perhaps I did. Perhaps the individual just wanted to say they were ‘encouraging change’ but that isn’t what was written – and to me, it sounded much more ominous and challenging.” The Old Webmaster took another bite and chewed slowly. “And, if that’s the way I read it, was I the only one? What about non-Masons getting the impression that we encourage changes made by might and force – or threats? Will this be a subtle encouragement to other Masons that they should abandon our concept of ‘who can best work and best agree’? As I see it, it’s simply the same thing an abuser says. ‘I did it because I loved her.’ That ‘in your face’ attitude does appeal to a great many men who have not learned to subdue their passions but I know if you saw someone poking and prodding an animal, you’d immediately know they were wrong and you’d recognize it as abuse. Is it somehow different because it’s Freemasonry? Our organization is, after all, you and me and our lodge brothers and all other Masons. The person poking and prodding essentially says he enjoys putting a stick in our eye. But there’s more to it than that, in my opinion. Why keep yourself in a state of agitation, disappointment and jealousy when you can simply walk away to a happier and more productive life? Like the abuser, though, rather than saying ‘This isn’t working for me’ and moving on, he wants everyone to know just how relevant and important HE is. He charges on with his poking and prodding, convinced that his ‘challenges’ will make the object of his attention somehow better – at least for him.”
The Master shrugged slightly. What more was there to say? He agreed fully – and the analogy of the spousal abuser was spot-on. He remembered one of his neighbors several years ago saying exactly the same thing: beating his wife was done out of love. It made her ‘better’. He’d helped put the man in jail, at least for a short time.
The Old Webmaster leaned back in his chair. “It never ceases to amaze me when people who are unhappy with a given situation don’t just leave and get on with their lives. If this involved something like saving a neighborhood from gangs it’d be one thing but we’re talking about a ‘club’ of a sort where people should be of a like mind and get along. If you find you don’t fit in, you don’t waste a lot of time: you simply leave. Life’s too short to be constantly shoveling sand uphill. I guess we’ll always have the abusers with us though….”
The Old Webmaster popped the last of his sandwich into his mouth but its taste was now bitter on his tongue. So strange, he thought. Millions of men find friendship, fraternity, cooperation, comfort, and so much more as Masons while a small handful seem to want nothing more than to prove that they’re better than all the rest.
The Master could almost see the thoughts writ large on his friend’s forehead. “Our ritual addresses it well and you said it just a minute ago: ‘…who can best work and best agree’. We don’t need the abusers – of the system or its members. While poking and prodding seems to give them delight or makes them feel important, it’s totally inappropriate in my opinion.”
The Old Webmaster wiped his mouth and set down his napkin with a contended nod. “I guess the antidote to it all is to just keep on working together, productively and cooperatively. It’s what Freemasons have been doing for the past three centuries.”
“So are you going to pay for my allowing you to show how absolutely brilliant you are?” asked the Master with a wink.
“I think it’s only proper that I should pay for that privilege!” The Old Webmaster replied with a broad smile, taking the course of action he’d planned all along.
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