Masonic Musings from ME!

It had been an exciting afternoon. The officers from the several lodges in the Western-most part of the jurisdiction were enjoying a mid-afternoon break in their bi-annual ‘Best Practices’ forum. Begun nearly a decade earlier, it gave interested lodge leaders, regardless of their stations, an opportunity to share information on what worked and what didn’t. The incoming Grand Master in his travels around the state had been suggesting that every district might want to start such a program since it had proven so successful. As the men milled around, munching on snacks and drinking coffee or soda, The Old Webmaster – who was invited to talk about the value of a lodge website in a lodge’s life – was approached by a fellow he’d met quite briefly at Grand Lodge the prior year.

“I got here late this morning due to some car problems but I heard that the talk about lodge budgeting was pretty interesting. I don’t know if you remember me or not.” The two men exchanged names and a familiar handshake and they were – almost as if by magic – long time friends. “I heard some talk at lunch about this Adopt-A-Geezer program and wondered if you could tell me about it.”

“Absolutely, my Brother.” replied The Old Webmaster without hesitation. “Several years ago, our lodge’s new Treasurer attended a seminar on lodge finances. He came back to our lodge and decided to look carefully at where we’d been and where we were headed. Projecting anticipated future expenses, he realized that we’d need to be raising our dues – perhaps significantly – in the near future. Because we have a number of men who’ve been given an life membership as a result of their very conspicuous hard works over several decades, it was also clear that increases in the Grand Lodge per capita tax would result in an additional burden.”

“My Brother. I don’t mean to sound stupid but I’ve just moved to this jurisdiction and I guess I’m not really familiar enough yet with the terminology to appreciate the problem. We don’t have life memberships where I come from. We do have honorary members though. Are we talking about the same thing?”

“Maybe – but maybe not.” said The Old Webmaster. “The terms are sometimes different from one grand lodge to the next but if it’s an honor awarded by the lodge rather than something purchased by the individual member, then it’s probably pretty much the same concept. As you know, an individual lodge owes Grand Lodge an amount of money for each member on their rolls. Some may call it a poll tax, a head tax, or whatever. We call it a per capita tax. Usually, that’s part of the dues that’s collected from each member annually but in the case where dues have been remitted by the lodge – either because of an honorary or life membership or as a result of a financial hardship the member is facing which makes paying his dues impossible – there is still the amount to pay to Grand Lodge each year.”

“So how does this Adopt-A-Geezer program work then?”

“The Treasurer was at an officer’s meeting where he brought up the potential problem for discussion. One of the older Past Masters who was there chimed in that the lodge just couldn’t abandon those old geezers like himself for whom the honor had been granted – and he readily offered to pay for not only his own Grand Lodge dues but that of at least one other person. Our Treasurer – being a guy full of humor and mirth – quickly interjected that all they now needed was for someone to adopt the rest of the old geezers. Well, this struck a chord with everyone in the room and each offered to do so. They then paused: what if the older members of the lodge took umbrage at the term? ‘Ah, not to worry!’ said the Old Past Master. He’d was in contact with most of them anyway and would make it his duty to speak to every single one, telling them that this was a great idea which they, as the old geezers, should be pretty pleased about – and that it would give the lodge some fun as well.”

“And it was as simple as that?” The Mason was clearly taken by this idea.

“The Treasurer decided to make a big deal out of it. To do it humorously so that no one would feel obligated or would take offense. And it has worked awfully well for our lodge. Each year when dues bills are sent to the membership, the Treasurer includes a separate sheet which explains the program and asks for donations. If a member wishes, he’ll receive a cute ‘Adopt-A-Geezer’ certificate by return mail but nearly all of the fellows just double their dues payment and be done with it. It’s a good deal all around because it allows the lodge to make good on their honors and their financial commitments at the same time without injury to anyone.” The Old Webmaster smiled broadly. “And nobody takes umbrage at being referred to as a ‘old geezer’. You’ll want to make sure the lodge is agreeable to the concept, that you’ve got some who’ll immediately sign on, and that all of those who will benefit by it understand that they’re not being made fun of…. I think those things are VERY important.”

From the other side of the hall, the speaker was encouraging all to return to their seats for the rest of the program that afternoon. “Adopt A Geezer….. Who would have thought?” They both smiled and headed off to their seats: another lodge ‘best practice’ had been shared!

——

Thanks to RW George Macdougall, PSGW from Piscataquis Lodge #44, Milo, Maine for the inspiration for this blog posting.

Technorati Tags: The Old Webmaster, freemasonry, lodge finances, lodge management, masonic

The Old Webmaster looked forlornly at his computer screen before leaning back in his chair. The loud squeal of protest it made was enough to capture the attention of anyone in the building. “It’s so stupid. You’d think they invented the concept of charity….” he muttered.

“What?” The Treasurer was over at the farthest filing cabinet trying to get some data together for his presentation of the upcoming budget. While a twenty five year financial history would be of little value in these times of rapidly escalating maintenance costs, he’d hoped to garner enough information to be able to show the steep ascent they were facing as the lodge struggled to ensure they remained fiscally secure for the future. “I’m hoping that you’ve got an audio card in that machine. Tell me you aren’t just talking to your computer instead of to yourself….” he said with a chuckle.

“It never ceases to amaze me how these few ‘fake Masons’ seem to think they’ve invented everything from charity to racial equality. They berate – both directly and indirectly – everything ever done by regular/recognized Freemasonry in order to boost their own self-perception while, very un-masonically, denigrating everyone else. The immaturity of their behavior is galling.”

The Treasurer stopped and left his pile of aged file folders to slump down into the overstuffed chair near the desk where The Old Webmaster sat. “For a guy who’s worked with youth groups his entire life, it really does surprise me to hear that you’re upset at immaturity. While I think our DeMolay boys are the greatest kids around and you know I’ve always encouraged the lodge’s financial support whenever they needed things, you’ll have to admit that their behavior is often far from mature. That broken window downstairs just last month….” The Treasurer didn’t want to put too fine a point on it.

“Well, we both know that the window was a result of some immature behavior but they are, after all, mostly twelve to fourteen year olds. They got physically rambunctious. That’s age. What I’m talking about are – ostensibly – adults in their twenties and thirties with a leader in his forties who think they’ve invented everything from the unified field theory to sliced bread – and who spend a considerable portion of their time trying to goad Freemasons online. It’s puerile and to many, including me, it’s pretty upsetting.”

“My Brother…” the Treasurer began slowly “…I’d be the LAST one to think that I could explain to anyone – and to you in particular – generational differences. You’re one of the very few among us who’s been ‘in the trenches’ watching such things develop for decades. However, if I may offer a bit of advice….”

“I’m all ears.” replied The Old Webmaster, leaning back further and stretching the very limits of the chair’s compliance.

“Last year we attended that Masonic Ambassador’s class and we got the handout on how the generations differ. I look at that sheet pretty regularly. It helps me better understand the kid in the grocery store who’s bagging my things and who apparently knows only two words: ‘no problem’. It helps me more appreciate my son-in-law when he does something which in my opinion is pretty foolish. It lets me communicate more intelligently with the new members of our lodge and give them the grounding which they never got in adolescence. You were at that meeting and you were the one who came back here to present it to our officer line. What’s happened? Have you forgotten it all?”

“No….” The Old Webmaster sighed deeply. “I keep hoping that these munchkins will grow up at some point – and I guess I’m frustrated that it’s not sooner rather than later – or never. And I guess I also resent their claims that they’ve invented the secret sauce because it demeans the many millions of good men who’ve gone before them.”

“Laugh it off, my friend. They’ve been at this for several years now and they’ve garnered less attention than a woodpecker banging on a tree trying to get insects in the middle of a Canadian winter. You see this stuff because you’re so close to that computer all the time but to the rest of the world, they’re a non-entity and will remain that way. In a couple of years, the leaders will grow tired of listening to themselves talk and they’ll find other ways to amuse themselves. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to do what we’ve done for the past three centuries – good works at improving ourselves and others – and we’ll continue on despite their niggling foolishness. They don’t have an exclusivity clause on ANYTHING and their whining should be transparent to even the most gullible. If it isn’t, all the better: they can take that person and have a great time together. MY only real concern is that they don’t get to the Jim Jones/David Koresh/Marshall Applewaite stage.”

The Old Webmaster stared. He’d seen that slavish, cult-like behavior in some of the followers of these various groups of ‘fake Masons’ and had been subjected to some very vitriolic comments when he’d taken a stand on behalf of regular/recognized Freemasonry. Could it be….??? The idea seemed too bizarre to even contemplate but there was that pack-like superiority attitude that was always present online. Would it ever spill over into something tragic? He’d been aware of one faction’s leader’s raging online rhetoric at the same time he was engaged in pleading long-distance phone calls with the officers of other jurisdictions and of national organizations begging for their assistance in his reinstatement as a Mason. There really were some strange dynamics in these groups but it was impossible to contemplate that grown men could follow someone to a precipice like that. Then again, from the time of Ben Franklin whose first words about Freemasonry condemned ‘fakers’ who pretended to be Masons and seduced others into thinking they were and who at other points in his lifetime spoke out against them as well….

The Treasurer interrupted his reverie. “A penny for your thoughts….” he said softly.

“I just wish I knew where it all ends….” The Old Webmaster replied mournfully.

“It ends with us ignoring the stupidity and getting back to reality. They don’t have exclusivity in the cause of righteousness and neither do we – although we’ll ALWAYS be a darn long step ahead. We do, however, have some immediate issues to discuss. I’ve been thinking: with rising gas prices, should we be looking at some kind of a special assessment so that we can provide some financial support to our DeMolay and Rainbow leaders? They’re getting hit hard, like ALL volunteers. What can we do?”

Both men turned their attention to the more pressing and relevant issue. A few minutes later, The Old Webmaster turned to look at his screen which had gone black due to inactivity. Fitting, he mused: the way all such aberrations in attempts to disrupt Freemasonry seem to end.

Technorati Tags: Freemasons, freemasonry, fake masonry, The Old Webmaster

“I saw your car in the parking lot. Boy, can I use your help.” Although he stopped at this combination gas station and sandwich shop each day for lunch, the Lodge’s Master was enormously relieved to find The Old Webmaster inside. They’d met here accidentally many times as it was a favorite of both but today the meeting was not simply fate. The Old Webmaster had deliberately planned to be here at just this time.

“I noticed that your e-mail last night wasn’t received very well in some quarters.” The Old Webmaster said quietly while continuing to survey the many candies he shouldn’t be eating. The Master’s angst arose from a stern rebuke he’d received just a few hours ago from one of the ‘pillars of the lodge’, a long-serving member who’d been Master several times during ‘the lean years’ and had also served a term as District Deputy Grand Master.

The Master nearly erupted: “Damn it, I explained what I wanted to do at the last meeting. It’s really pretty simple. We’ve got a bunch of new guys coming in. They need stimulation. They’re clamoring to learn the ritual. I want them to know that they’ll be able to perform those parts once they learn them. Heck, Brother Adams does a great job but he’s been doing that same charge for umpteen years. He did it when I joined and he’s still doing it. It’s time we got some new blood in there. I explained this whole thing at the end of the last meeting. If he’d been in the room, he would have heard it.”

The Old Webmaster looked back at the candy display in order to allow the Master sufficient opportunity to breathe after this outburst. Clearly the man was shaken – a good sign it would seem. Had the Master been more callous – or furious – about the matter, The Old Webmaster’s planning might have been for naught.

“I really like these Milky Way Midnight bars. How about you?” The exasperation on the Master’s face showed clearly but he held himself in check. There always seemed to be a purpose for such questions. Was the man trying to be a Taoist or something? He could never quite figure it out.

“You want me to say that I’ve never had one, right? Or maybe you want me to say that I like the traditional one better….” The Old Webmaster turned to him and smiled slightly. The point had been made.

“You did know that Brother Adams had volunteered to help out in the kitchen because a Steward wasn’t feeling well, right? I just assumed that you had spoken with him about this well before you broached the idea in Lodge.”

“Oo…” The Master stopped short. He’d thought that Phil had just left to go outside for a cigarette as was the man’s custom towards the end of the meeting. It suddenly became clearer why he’d reacted so badly to the e-mail the Master had sent to the entire lodge membership last night explaining the way he’d be assigning ritual parts for the balance of his term.

The Old Webmaster resumed his scan of the candy array as he spoke. “Brother Adams has been doing that particular charge – as you said – for an awfully long time. When his wife died just before you joined, he threw himself into Masonry to help him deal with her loss. He went to meetings for miles around primarily to have supper just so that he wouldn’t have to eat alone. Did he want recognition for the good ritual he delivered when called to fill in at these meetings? You bet! It was, after Shirley died, the only thing in his life – the only time people talked to him it seemed. It was either going out to lodge and chatting with the guys or sitting alone in a cold, dank house. With a simple e-mail you’ve taken about the only thing he had away from him. I can see why he reacted as strongly as he did to your e-mail. He’s angry and hurt – and he probably doesn’t realize fully why it bothers him so much.”

There was a long pause. The Master picked up one of the Milky Way Midnight bars and stared at it intently.

The Old Webmaster watched – and then continued. “Look, Worshipful: I know what you want to accomplish. It’s certainly laudable and makes perfect sense for the Lodge. But Brother Adams has a lot to give us still even though his time of relevance is quickly passing. My opinion….” The Master stepped forward in order to look him squarely in the eye. It was quite rare that The Old Webmaster was so direct, nearly always encouraging members to think for themselves.

“My opinion…” he repeated “is that you should call him on your cell phone right now, apologize for perhaps causing a problem – and I’d say it in those terms because, sadly, his reaction has added to this – and tell him that you’d like to meet with him down at the Lodge Hall tonight to talk things over. Tell him you’re sorry and that you hope he’ll agree. He might hesitate at first and you might feel uncomfortable apologizing for something that you know in your heart is ultimately done for the best interests of the lodge but why not bring EVERYONE along on this and not leave someone shattered along the way? That’s my two cents at least.” A pause. “Remember, though: this is NOT some Past Master trying to run the Lodge or telling you what to do.”

The Old Webmaster had spoken sensibly and the last few words were unnecessary because the Master knew in retrospect that he’d erred badly. Staring at the candy bar he was still holding, it occurred to him that some day he might be in Brother Adams’ shoes. Having himself become the go-to guy for the Emblems lecture, he’d be crushed if one of his successors decided to replace him – and yet he’d done this to another Mason, by e-mail no less! Damn! He owed any Mason more than that!

“But how do I get the new Brothers motivated to do ritual if he’s going to continue doing a premiere piece that everyone longs to do?” It was a quandary the Master had pondered as he approached his term. Now he wished he’d talked with some of the Past Masters before sending that e-mail…. Maybe this could have all been prevented.

“It’s a thorny problem…” said The Old Webmaster “but I’m willing to bet that if you and he talk this through you’ll find common ground. In the process, you might want to think about something major to task him with – and you can also put him in charge of the mentoring program for the Brethren who want to work on this. We’ve talked about a new building for a long time now. Perhaps you’ve found the Fundraising Chairman? And I think I know Brother Adams well enough that when he sees the enthusiasm and eagerness of these newer members, he’ll relinquish his position and retire to the sidelines with fatherly pride. He’s up for his 50 year pin later this year, you know: ask him how he’d like to celebrate the occasion.”

“Don’t buy all of these!” the Master said, setting the candy bar back down. “Leave a couple for me. Right now, though, I need to step outside and make a phone call.”

The Old Webmaster looked longingly at the Milky Way Midnight bars as the Master rushed outside. He wondered how many he could sneak into the house….

Technorati Tags: Freemasons, freemasonry, ritual, lodge management, The Old Webmaster

“I saw the darndest thing on web the other night, Brother, and I thought you’d get a big kick out of it!” It was the voice of a Past Master, an Internet immigrant of recent vintage, who was spending the first months of his retirement trying to stay out from under foot of his devoted wife. He was hanging around the lodge building a lot these days when he wasn’t web surfing in the office he’d created in his basement. “Well, maybe you’ve seen it already actually. It was some kind of ‘esoteric freemason’ group that provided you with the ceremonies so you could initiate yourself. Imagine: wave a magic wand over your head or something and call yourself a Mason! I wonder how many people they sucker into THAT one….”

The Old Webmaster turned from his work and shook his head slowly, ruefully. “I have seen that website – or another just like it. I’m always surprised that people are gullible enough to think that by reading something they’re somehow going to feel filled with some kind of enlightenment. I certainly wouldn’t diminish the power of a well-crafted book to change one’s ideas or thinking but reading a some paragraphs from an inkjet printer and then thinking that you’ve somehow become a member of an initiatic society or you’ve now received the secrets of Freemasonry…. It’s a stretch for me as well.”

“Is there anything we can do about this sort of thing? It is, after all, a scam. We both know it. It seems a shame that somebody will spend their hard-earned cash to join a group like that. This one I saw said you could initiate your wife and your kids too. Make an infant child a Freemason apparently, according to them. It’s crazy!”

The Old Webmaster nodded yet again. “In the case of the one I saw, it’d be hard to prove much of anything wrong from a legal perspective, I think. It’s not unlike websites selling stars or property on Mars. One person, hiding behind a post office box, told the buyer what they’d get – a ceremony of some kind and the right to set up their own so-called ‘lodges’ – so even if the money is traveling by US Mail, there’s likely no postal fraud statute involved since they will get what was promised. Of course, if they ever wanted to visit a regular/recognized Masonic lodge, they’d be turned away quite promptly but that might not convince them that they weren’t in the right and the people at the lodge were just a bunch of jerks. It’s sad….” The Old Webmaster began staring off into space thinking about the ramifications.

“You know, after seeing this stuff on the web, I think our lodge – and every other lodge in our jurisdiction – should be made aware of such things. Sooner or later one of these people is going to show up on our doorstep. We need to have someone who’s knowledgeable and compassionate break the news to them that they’ve just wasted their money – and that they aren’t really a part of what they think they’ve joined.” Both men could envision the embarrassment a person might feel in such a situation.

The Old Webmaster smiled: “I’m going to be at a meeting with the Deputy Grand Master next week. OK if I tell him of your suggestion and offer you to be the trainer?” The answer was known before the question was posed.

“If you think it makes sense, then I’d sure be willing to do it – and I don’t mind travelling around to talk to the fellas at their own lodge if they wanted me to. Besides, it would give Louise a little more time without me!” The Past Master smiled broadly. This was Freemasonry: feeling wanted and having value!

Technorati Tags: Freemasons, freemasonry, fake masonry, The Old Webmaster