“I have a question for you now.” The Old Webmaster’s voice was still pleasant but the young man who had just been given a petition for the Degrees of Freemasonry was instantly aware that this was more than a question of mere curiosity.
“Why did you become interested in Freemasonry?” asked the Old Webmaster.
It felt like he’d been hit in the chest. Ever since arriving at the Lodge building earlier that afternoon, the discussions had been about mature, serious matters but they were relaxed and comfortable. This question, delivered in a particularly solemn voice, was different from everything that had gone before. He began to panic. He’d not thought about this particular aspect of things. He was going to ask questions and…. Well, he never expected that they’d be asking HIM about his motives.
This was not something that had been rehearsed. The Old Webmaster looked out from the storage room in which he sat to see a reaction that was not unfamiliar. In this part of the country, one often encountered wild animals on deserted roads at night. ‘Caught in the headlights’ was a term that reflected their surprise when they turned to see a previously unheard vehicle moving rapidly towards them. The potential candidate had that same look. The question, though, was not one designed to create discomfort. Rather, the Old Webmaster hoped to set the tone for this young man. The Lodge’s Master who was also standing at the doorway stared back at him. Though the potential Candidate wouldn’t recognize it, the Old Webmaster could see the faint hint of a smile on his face. It was, as the ‘Yogi-ism’ went, déjà vu all over again.
Neither the Master nor the Old Webmaster were uncomfortable with the silence. As it continued, though, the angst level seemed to reach intolerable levels.
“I’ll tell you what…” said the Old Webmaster gently. “Why don’t we talk about that another day?”
The young man didn’t know what to think. Had he just failed his first test? Would they mark him as a dolt unworthy of membership? He just wasn’t prepared for THAT question….
“I…. I just….” It was useless. He really hadn’t thought about it and he didn’t want to say the wrong thing though he feared that saying nothing would be just as damning.
“Everyone comes to Freemasonry with different goals, motivations, and expectations. My question wasn’t to embarrass you or to make you uncomfortable. Sometimes men have reasons for joining that are, to put it charitably, far removed from what Freemasonry can provide. They become disgruntled and angry that they’ve not gotten what they thought they should receive. The Lodge thought they were getting a bright, intelligent and young member capable of carrying on old traditions. The new member verbalized a desire to be part of that tradition but defined it in his own terms and was distraught if each and every stitch didn’t fit his preconceived notion.”
The Master spoke. “We don’t claim to be everything to everyone. In Freemasonry we have a phrase in our ritual about ‘guarding the West Gate’. You’ll remember when we toured the Lodge room a few minutes ago that we entered from the symbolic West. We’re taught that we should take due care before admitting anyone to our ranks. Our Webmaster is wise in encouraging you to consider your motivations. He will not be the only one along your journey who’ll ask you that. You should look deep within yourself before you answer.”
“We’ll talk about it another time.” said the Old Webmaster gently. He smiled quietly. He remembered the reactions of others. Some were now active and involved members of the Lodge. A couple decided to not join….
‘…the steps of faith fall on seeming void and find the rock beneath.’
The phrase from John Greenleaf Whittier was the quotation he’d used in his high school yearbook so many, many years ago. Throughout the Old Webmaster’s life, it had become more and more meaningful.
Accepting an apprentice had, throughout the ages, been an act of shared faith….
The young man stared vacantly into the storage room. He’d never imagined it would be like this.
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